Single-sentence stories

(The challenge was to write stories that began and ended within a single sentence. Here are my suggestions!)

The fruits of modern education

I watched as a 30-year-old woman stopped in the street, tapped out the numbers on her smartphone and proudly announced to her husband, “seven and six are thirteen”.

Fall of One Empire, Rise of Another

Cleopatra died, apparently from a self-inflicted snakebite, in a deed that added the Empire of Egypt to that of Rome and which was once aptly described as the biggest asp disaster in the world.

Othello

When Desdemona dropped her handkerchief, evil Iago used it to cause mayhem, lay false accusations and cause the death of several principal characters, including himself.

Nostalgia

Once upon a time they all lived happily ever after.

Strategy and tactics

He got the strategy right by buying a bottle of expensive wine for her to drink at dinner, but his tactics went awry when she refused to drink it.

Writers block

He had high hopes of becoming a successful writer but had to live in a bungalow when he realised that he was only good for one storey.

The name’s the same

The new housing estate was built after they cut down a lovely old piece of woodland to make space for it, but now you can live in Oak Close, Birch Drive or Sycamore Avenue.

Hands up

After the school inspector had left, immensely impressed by the fact that every time the teacher asked a question all the pupils raised a hand and a correct answer was given, the teacher revealed that his classroom practice was for a right hand to be raised if you knew the answer and a left hand went up if you didn’t.

Missed opportunity

When the dessert trolley came along, loaded with the most delicious-looking cakes and puds, she waved it by and therefore missed a last chance of real delight before the big ship hit an iceberg.

Emergency exit

When the Cabinet Secretary got into a panic on the day of the Twin Towers disaster in New York, he asked about arrangements for using the secret underground escape tunnel from 10 Downing Street, only to be told that the man who looked after the key had gone on holiday without telling anyone where he kept it.

Christmas shopping

He thought long and hard about what to give his mother, who lived more than 100 miles away, as her Christmas present, going through every gift catalogue he could lay his hands on, but none of them had the one gift that he knew was what she really wanted, namely him turning up on her doorstep and saying “I love you, Merry Christmas”.

© John Welford