Part 1: The True Bit
After a short break in Berlin my son and I returned by rail to our home in Leicestershire.
The first train took us from Berlin to Cologne. The journey was notable for keeping perfectly to time, arriving at exactly the right time in Cologne after a journey lasting more than four hours. We therefore had no problem with making the connection for the next leg of the trip, from Cologne to Brussels.
However, that was when things started to go awry. Shortly after starting out, the announcement was made that the train would make an additional stop at Düren, which is a town between Cologne and Aachen. A later announcement said that everyone would have to leave the train at Düren and get on a train that would be on the opposite platform. All seat reservations would still apply on the other train.
As our train arrived at Düren another train was approaching at the adjoining platform from the opposite direction. The two trains stopped at almost exactly the same time. We all duly got off our train – as did the passengers who had just arrived on the other train.
We then swapped trains. When everyone was on board, the two trains set off back the way they had come, carrying a fresh set of passengers.
There was no explanation given as to why this took place, and there seemed to be no reason why two trainloads of passengers, travelling between Germany and Belgium, should have to do what they did.
Odder still, from my point of view, was the fact that I just finished reading Christopher Isherwood’s novel “Goodbye to Berlin” and had started on his other “Berlin” novel. The title? “Mr Norris Changes Trains”!
Part 2: The Fictional Bit – One Assumes!
So, what possible explanation could there be? Here is a possible – albeit unlikely – scenario.
Fritz, a train driver working for Deutsche Bahn, had a problem. He lived with his wife in a small flat in Cologne, and regularly did the run between Cologne and Brussels, where he sometimes stayed overnight so that he could drive the early train back to Cologne. He was supposed to spend these nights at an approved hotel, but had recently got very friendly with a young lady, named Yvette, who had her own flat in Brussels. He had therefore got into the habit of staying overnight with her instead of at the hotel.
This arrangement had worked very well for around a month, with the girlfriend in Brussels knowing full well that Fritz had a wife in Cologne, but the wife in Cologne being in total ignorance of the girlfriend in Brussels. As long as this situation continued, the happiness of all three of them would be maintained.
But it could not last for ever.
Things went wrong when Yvette, unknown to Fritz, made her own visit to Cologne to see Louise, an old schoolfriend who had done very well for herself and now worked as a senior controller for Deutsche Bahn. Yvette wanted to tell Louise about her new boyfriend, and she did so at a café not far from both the Hauptbahnhof and the Cathedral.
“His name’s Fritz”, said Yvette, “He’s a lovely guy. Tall, blonde, very well-spoken. He works for your company as a train driver - you might actually know him.”
“We’ve got more than one driver named Fritz”, said Louise. “He could be one of several.”
“I forgot to mention”, said Yvette, “his eyes look a bit strange. His left eye is blue but his right eye is brown. I don’t think I’ve ever come across that before.”
“In that case”, said Louise, “I know exactly who you mean”.
And so did the woman sitting at the next table whose attention had been drawn to the conversation of the two friends the moment she overheard the name Fritz being mentioned. As soon as Yvette had got up from her table to go the Ladies, the woman went over to where Loiuse was sitting.
“The next time you see my husband Fritz”, said the woman, “You can tell him from me that if he ever comes near me again he’ll get a lot more than he bargained for. If he wants to live with that trollop in Brussels, he can do so, but I’ll be chucking all his belongings out into the street as soon as I get home”.
She then walked off, presumably to go home and start packing Fritz’s things.
Louise had no idea whether Yvette knew that Fritz was married or not. Yvette sounded so happy and it might well destroy her if she found out that her new boyfriend already had a wife in Cologne.
However, Louise was a resourceful person and she had a solution to the problem, which she could do given her professional capacity as an arranger of train movements. When Yvette came back, Louise excused herself in turn and made some urgent phone calls.
She arranged for the train that Fritz was due to be driving to Cologne that evening to reverse direction at Düren, which is where it was due to cross with the Brussels-bound train on which Yvette would be travelling.
When she phoned Fritz to tell him, he was shocked by the news that his marriage was now in tatters, but very grateful to Louise for sorting things out. The prospect of facing his irate wife when he got home was not one to savour, and Yvette’s flat in Brussels sounded like a much safer place to spend the night.
Louise also had to get the driver of the other train to agree to the plan, which he was perfectly willing to do, being one of Fritz’s best mates.
All the passengers would have to swap trains at Düren, meaning that Fritz and Yvette would head to Brussels together, with Yvette being none the wiser about what was really going on.
Louise’s next job would be to collect Fritz’s belongings and take them to her own flat in Cologne.
She had always fancied Fritz. Getting Yvette to sit at the table next to where Fritz’s wife always had coffee at this time had been the only really tricky part of the plan.
© John Welford
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