When your brain is in a fog
Can you remember types of dog?
You’re in luck – I will confide
To you my foolproof doggy guide.
This is all you’ll ever need
For right-on knowledge of the breed.
You’ll want to tell what’s good or trash
Before you part with hard-earned cash.
It’s black and white? Friendly? Jolly?
It well might be a Border Collie.
With loyalty that can’t get better
Could it be an English Setter?
Companionship? You can be sure
If you buy a Labrador.
A long-term friendship will ensue
With a handsome Kerry Blue.
You need a dog to reconnoitre?
It’s obvious – an English Pointer.
It comes up to a midget’s knees?
Possibly a Bichon Frise.
Sharp of bite and strong of muscle?
You’ve got yourself a fierce Jack Russell.
Its coat can be both light and dusky
I refer to the Alaskan Husky.
It looks ideal to mop the floor,
Hairy Hungarian Komondor.
A spotty dog is your fixation?
No choice other than Dalmatian.
It blocks the light and fills the lane?
Can only be a huge Great Dane.
You leap a burn or brook in one bound?
So does a feisty Irish Wolfhound.
A dog to run round any barrier?
Maybe a beagle or a harrier.
Is there one dog here or two -
The crazy mixed-up Cockapoo?
So there you are, a canine glut
From which to make your choice of mutt.
Now you know just where it’s at –
What do you mean, you want a cat?
© John Welford
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